A pregnant woman’s super powers

Where is my super suit? For Halloween this year my husband and I have matching outfits just like the ones in Disney Pixar’s movie The Incredibles. The suit is tight enough to show just a little bit of a baby bump, and it’s going to be a lot of fun.

The costume inspired me to write my list of super powers that I believe pregnant women seem to possess, most of which are probably undesirable. 

Elastigirl

  1. Super Smell: The ability to smell vomit inducing bad breath from a mile away! Sometimes its nice to be able to detect a flower sooner than you used to, but beware because smells that used to be welcome can now be deadly!
  2. Bathroom Detection: The uncanny ability to scan any room, grocery store, or building for bathrooms. This ability is necessary due to the urinary urgency associated with pregnancy.
  3. Super Speed: This is a great power but it comes with a catch, this power can only come into play when you need to either pee or puke.
  4. Glowing Abilities: No, it doesn’t help you see in the dark, but as soon as people know you’re pregnant they can immediately see a “glow” that they for some reason couldn’t see before. Soon you will find your nemesis captivated with watching your growing butt, thighs, and tummy allowing you to do… something  bad to them. Ok, hopefully you don’t actually have a nemesis, but seriously people watch carefully once they know you’re pregnant.
  5. Super Acne: Pop a new zit to blind your opponent! K, that’s just gross, but I’ve had a lot of new acne since I got pregnant and it’s no fun.

K, maybe not the best super powers, but hopefully they’ll improve once you get mom’s super powers, you know, like eyes in the back of the head and stuff life that! 

Enjoy one of my favorite clips from The Incredibles. My only regret is that the clip stops before the best line. Unfortunately the only clip I found that included this line also included added text blips with profanity. :( sad day! So I’ll write it in for your enjoyment. if anyone can remember Frozone’s wife’s name let me know so I can include it! 

Frozone: “Think about the greater good!” 

Wife: “I am your wife! I am the greatest good you are ever gonna get!”

Amber may be… sleeping through her pregnancy

Lethargic, worn out, exhausted, pooped, beat, done-in, tired, dragging, burnt out, weary…have I described pregnancy yet? This constant nausea combined with constant lack of energy, it’s like someone stuck me on the Tea cups at Disney World and wouldn’t let me off.

I know I should feel lucky. I can just hear all of those women who have already passed the child bearing age,

“When I was pregnant with my first, I couldn’t leave the house because I was glued to the toilet!”

Well good for you. Knowing that your pregnancies were all worse than mine sure makes me feel better…not!

I feel like I’m sleeping my way through my pregnancy.  I practically live on the couch… feeling sick but knowing that I won’t actually throw-up.

What’s worse is that there don’t seem to be any solutions. I spend most of my waking time at all of the different pregnancy websites and they keep saying I’ll be tired, but just eat healthy and exercise and it might get better. I eat pretty healthy (saltines are healthy right?), and my job involves hiking around the hospital pushing a heavy cart. Apparently it’s not enough.

I’ll have to just take comfort in the fact that I’m growing another human being inside me. It takes a lot of my body’s energy to create this baby, to help it grow all the things it needs.  WTE.com tells me that at ten weeks it’s growing bone and cartilage, little teeth beneath the gums, and at an inch and a half it’s rapidly growing in size. Not to mention I’m still growing the umbilical cord, the lifeline that will eventually feed my baby.

So I’ll have to remember that it’s all worth it, this never ending exhaustion and nausea, because in the end I will hold a beautiful baby in my arms, and my life will change forever.

Amber may be… a pregnant student

As of right now I’m 12 weeks pregnant, a senior in college, a housekeeper (not my own house), a wife, a writer for the school newspaper, and a major slacker!

It is so hard to go to school and be pregnant at the same time. Don’t take this blog post as defeat, by no means is it defeat. I’m going to graduate on time, and I’m not going to fail any classes. In my mind I have no other option. I’m just admitting that it’s really hard!

I feel sick all the time, my apartment is in a shambles, and I’m finding it nearly impossible to get to my early morning lecture classes. The fact that I work nights doesn’t help. So I figured I would try to motivate myself a little by writing myself a how to blog post.

All right Amber, here is your How to go to school, work, be pregnant, be a good wife, be perfect message!

  1. Saltines: eat them. I know you hate them. They have become the bane of your existence. That dry mouthed salty, cracker feeling might just make you throw up rather than prevent it, but you’ve got to try! For the sake of the baby, just try.
  2. Sleep: get it. Sure you don’t get off work until after midnight most nights, and sleeping on your back and stomach (the two preferred sleeping spots) is now either off limits or very painful, but sleep has got to be possible. The fact that you are exhausted all the time whether you get eight hours or not shouldn’t be considered. It’s time to start scheduling brief naps, and going to bed at a reasonable hour whenever possible.
  3. Wake up: when the alarm goes off. You have a choice, you have will. The bed is not swallowing you whole. You can refuse to stay in bed. You can get up! You can conquer!
  4. Eat: healthy balanced meals. All of the popular pregnancy sites tell you that eating healthy will help you feel less exhausted, less sick, less awful. If you can eat without throwing up, then do it! Say no to the empty corn dog, nacho, potato chip calories and start saying yes to a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and dairy. Maybe it will work. I kinda doubt it.
  5. Pray: for motivation. You had it before you got pregnant. It can’t have just completely disappeared like that! It defies the laws of nature. One minute it’s there, the next it’s not! Dig Deep Amber! Find the motivation to attend class, clean, do laundry, do anything but sleep.

*Deep Sigh*

I’m ruminating on my list… trying to let it sink in and cause some kind of change in me. Perhaps, I should just acknowledge that I don’t have to get a 4.0, I don’t have to have a perfect apartment, and just maybe my best effort is good enough.

Here’s to all the pregnant students out there. I feel your pain!