Standing in the Hall

Today was hard. Being a nurse, hubby has to take his turn working on Sundays, and today was his turn. He gave me a kiss, made me plug in my phone, and left at 4:40 this morning. Two hours later Little Lion was ready to get up. We ate breakfast and got ready for church. Doing my hair was nearly impossible with Little Lion reaching up and grabbing for it as we went. A friend gave us a ride and right from the very beginning I could tell, it was going to be one of those days.

I spent relief society chasing her up and down isles and keeping her little head away from corners, a perpetual “shhh” on my lips. Sunday school wasn’t much better, there was one point where she tried to walk off a chair and I barely kept her from hitting her head. All of this was compounded by the fact that she is teething and just learned a new sound – a high pitched “AAAEEEE”

I tried to rock her to sleep, but she doesn’t like to nap outside of her room, and it just didn’t work.

By the time we got to sacrament meeting I was ready to cry. My busy girl kept trying to talk to other little children, screamed for their treats, and whined, a lot. I felt like I was running a marathon as I plodded in and out of the chapel.

I spent the actual sacrament in the foyer, Little Lion squirming in my lap as I attempted to take the bread and water without overturning the tray.

I so wasn’t feeling it. I tried to take a deep breathe and feel the spirit, I tried to contemplate the sacrament, but I couldn’t shake the exhaustion. All I accomplished was to stem my tears.

Church went over a few minutes, and I had to stay after because I was being ordained to a new calling. Still, we got through it. And when I was walking Little Lion home from my friend’s house I saw a beautiful monarch butterfly. It seemed to be leading me home. It fluttered right in front of us most of the way, dancing just away from some small chirping birds.

beauty, spring, dandelions, white butterfly

And I finally felt peace. The world is so beautiful, and I felt that the Lord loves me and my effort. I remembered some advice given to me by a kind man in my ward. He’s the father of 8 and a half children. He and his wife are examples of kindness and humility. Back when I was in the hall with a colicy Little Lion, he told me, ” Sometimes you spend more time in the hall than in meetings, but you’re still being blessed. And so are your children. They’ll grow up in the church because you spent so much time standing in the hall.”

Half an hour later, Little Lion had eaten lunch and gone down to nap. I love her so much, and she is so worth standing in the hall for.

Happy Sabbath everyone, and to those other young mom’s, I hope you’re having beautiful experiences in the halls of church.

-Amber Mae