I have a lot of faults. I can be lazy, prideful, and generally annoying. Sometimes I procrastinate, show up late, or lose my temper. It’s pretty normal to be imperfect, but if I could snap my fingers and choose one thing to change I would change my general judgemental-ness (there I go again making up words).
When people treat me well, I’m pretty good about not judging them. But isn’t it the case that those who need love and kindness the most are also the ones that treat us the worse.
We are all affected by obnoxious people. Whether they are family members, co-workers, school-mates, neighbors, or ward members makes little difference. They’re those people who insist that they are always right and you are always wrong. The ones who have to disagree with everything you say. They’re those people that are always sending little jabs your way whether the jabs are open or thinly veiled.
And with every mean word, with every criticism, with every dark look it gets harder and harder to like them. I wish I was the kind of person who can just turn the other cheek, that sweet person who just laughs it off and forgets it. I’m sure I’d see an increase in happiness.
I was talking to my husband the other day, and I mentioned an occasion when one of those obnoxious people had said something rude to him about his schooling. He didn’t remember the occasion. I know it bothered him at the time. I remember his comments when we were alone that night, but after a while he just let it go. He forgot it and regardless of whether he was treated any different (which he wasn’t) he frankly forgave.
Wow. I’m good at forgiving when people change the way they’re treating me, but when they continue being jerks I just can’t seem to wrap my head around it.
Instead I tend to judge them. I sit and think about how mean they are when I should be thinking about their situations. When I do that I realize that almost every jerk has a back story. It’s just like in the movies where you learn about the villain’s sad child hood or low self-esteem. Unfortunately, in real life the behavior doesn’t change after having a touching heart to heart. But here’s the thing, who am I to judge?
I think it’s one of those out of this world concepts I’ll be working on for the rest of my life, one of my big weaknesses, but we’re promised that our weaknesses can become our strengths right?
So consider this my official online declaration that I will try a little harder when dealing with obnoxious jerks. They may be obnoxious and jerky but they have their own reasons for being obnoxious and jerky and it’s not up to me to judge those reasons (other than to observe and say I won’t act that way).
Hmmm…I think I’m sounding less than sincere. Does being non-judgemental mean I have to sugar coat everything? What? You think I’m an idiot? Well, that comment doesn’t make you a jerk… it makes you a… sweet spirit. Yeah, that’s it, a sweet spirit. :)