Giving

I was up in the middle of the night trying to calm a crying baby. I was changing a diaper that wasn’t dirty after trying to feed and burp a baby that was neither hungry nor gassy. With new mom hormones running through my body I felt overwhelmed.My sweet little girl was upset and I couldn’t fix it. Her cry was desperate and I desperately wanted to help her.

I began to sing to her as I rocked. I cycled through a few primary songs from my youth, until I got to “Give said the Little Stream”. I barely got through the first verse before I was in tears. “Give,” said the little stream, Give, oh! give, give, oh! give.” I didn’t know what else I could give, I was physically and mentally exhausted. Still, I tried to finish the song. I was calming down when I reached the third verse.  “Give, then, as Jesus gives, Give, oh! give, give, oh! give. Give, then, as Jesus gives; There is something all can give. Do as the streams and blossoms do: For God and others live.” I listened to the words over my baby’s cries and my perspective changed. I was reminded of the atonement and how much Jesus gave for me, the excruciating pain he felt so that I can be saved is more than I will ever have the opportunity to give.

Knowing that Christ and my Heavenly Father understood my pain I was able to put my baby back to bed and lie down myself. Eventually she stopped crying. Later on I thought about the song some more and another well-known hymn came to mind, “Because I have been given much I too must give” has been cycling through my mind as I contemplate my many blessings. Motherhood brings new trials with it, but it  brings many more blessings. I just hope I can give back a sliver of what I’ve been blessed with myself.