Pinterest vs. Reality

pinterest vs real life hair

Here’s a link to her tutorial: http://www.lovemaegan.com/2011/09/revisiting-no-heat-big-curls-w-twisted.html

maybe it will work better for you, lol.

The Elderly Say the Darndest Things

Old Hands

These are my grandmother's hands - they are over 90-years-old

I just love elderly people, don’t you? I am blessed to know some of the sweetest ancients in existence, namely my grandpa and all three of my lovely grandmothers. All of them are over the age of 70. They have lived through depressions, recessions, births, deaths, good times, hard times, inbetween times, and believe it or not they have a lot of wisdom to share.

They also have a lot of humor. One of my favorite parts about going to the grocery store is talking to the elderly who are drawn to my adorable little munchkin. You see, they always say the darndest things and it provides me and my family with more than a few chuckles.

Case in point, the following is a conversation with an elderly man we met in Wal Mart. Please note that I’m not trying to make fun of him, I really thought he was a sweet guy.

Elderly Man: Oh my, what a cutie you’ve got there, how did you get her?

Me in my head: Well, it all started with a tiny egg, would you like me to explain?

Me out loud: Thanks, we sure love her.

Elderly Man: Well, look at you, you’re almost as tall as your mama!

Me in my head: She’s actually got stunted growth and is no where near as tall as me – even if I am only five feet tall.

Me out loud: Yep, she’s a growin!

Elderly Man in a very serious voice: You’re not cute, no your not, you’re not cute at all

Me in my head: BWA HA HA HA HA

Me out loud: small chuckle, say buh-bye to the nice man. Have a nice day, sir

The following is another exchange with a sweet old man I met at the thrift store:

Elderly Gentleman: Oh my, it’s a baby!

Me in my head: No, it’s a kangaroo

Me out loud: Yep she is!

Elderly Gentlemen: Well, did you get her here?

Me in my head: Duh…. what do I say to this?

Me out loud: long pause

Elderly Gentlemen reaching for her: Well, I think I’ll just take her home with me

Little Lion (My baby): WAHHHH!!!!! clutching at me

Me out loud: She’s more valuable than anything you can buy (finally responding to the last comment)

Elderly Gentlemen: I think I’ll go find my wife, she’ll want to see how cute your baby is.

Me in my head: so should I wait here or run?

Me out loud: OK (as I wander off…)

Please don’t think from this post that I don’t love and value the elderly. Both of these gentlemen were sweet men who  were interested in my baby, but when they say darn things like that it’s just too good not to share.

What kind of comments have you recieved from strangers about your baby? Share in the comments below :)

Instincts: Mom vs. Dad

Our sweetie

1. Baby looks up imploringly; it’s obvious she’s begging for some fun

Mommy instinct: read a book, play a gentle game of Ring around the Rosie, sing the ABC song

Daddy instinct: throw baby as high into the air as possible and listen to her giggle on the way back down

2. An elderly stranger walks up to baby and begins commenting on how cute she is while simultaneously snacking on her toes.

Mommy instinct: Politely remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible

Daddy instinct: Chastise elderly stranger in a loud manner and then remove baby from situation

3. Baby cries and indicates that she is hungry

Mommy instinct: provide the healthiest meal possible with no sugar but lots of calories

Daddy instinct: give her a doughnut

4. A stranger at church picks baby up and begins walking to the other side of the room.

Mommy instinct: Dash to save baby while politely saying, “I’ll take her.”

Daddy instinct: Tackle the stranger, then take the baby back.

5. Baby is tired and ready for a nap

Mommy instinct: Sing songs and wind baby down for sleep

Daddy instinct: Rile baby up with rousing tickles because he wants to keep playing with her

So this is obviously an exaggerated list, but for the most part it’s true – at least for us and it demonstrates 2 main points: first  that men and women are really different and second that it’s important that our baby has both of us. We balance each other out and between the two of us we’re able to give her everything she needs.

So what about you? Are we the only ones with differing instincts? Is this similar to your situation or are the roles reversed? Share your stories in the comment section.

 

Dancing in Wal Mart

baby with yellow flowersMy husband and I were walking down the grocery isle in Wal Mart. The baby was in her car seat in the main section of the cart and she had just woken up with a big smile. Oh how I love that smile! Nothing fills your soul like the smile from a sweet baby.

That smile has great influence over me. I will do all kinds of things to coax it out from its hiding places. In this case, I forgot that I was in a very public place surrounded by people, and I began to do a little dance as I wiggled my fingers above my baby, chanting “I’m gonna tickle! I’m gonna tickle!” in a high sing-songy voice.

The baby laughed and cooed and my husband chuckled. Wanting more of those sweet baby sounds I continued my dance. My husband’s chuckle turned into a full out laugh, and I realized he wasn’t just laughing because of how cute the baby is… at the same moment I realized he wasn’t the only one laughing. I looked up and saw that almost everyone within 20 feet of me was laughing. On the other side of the isle two middle aged men were copying my movements as they laughed and several women were quickly turning their heads so as not to appear as if they were staring.

Oh dear, I thought, I’m putting on a free comedy improv. “They’re mocking me!” I told my husband, “No, they just think it’s cute.” he told me. “You’re a fun mom.”

Then it hits me. I may be a cool fun mom now, as I dance in a crowded grocery store for my baby, but in a few short years I will be the so not cool mom who forgets from time to time that free comedy improv doesn’t illicit the same coo and giggle it used to.

Oh well, I don’t have to think about those days yet. All I have to think about is how to make my baby smile and laugh, because I’ll do all kinds of things to see that smile.

What have you got?

Have you got a pair?

Have you ever pushed out a watermelon while breathing in deep breaths?
Do you know what it’s like, to waddle every little step?

Have you ever cried with your baby, as your baby cried at you?
Have you become an expert, on the different shades of poo?

Have you picked gum from hair, kissed bruised knees, and wiped away big tears?
Have you disciplined, and let things go, and calmed their little fears?

When the sun goes down do you wake up oft’ to check on sleeping eyes?
When the sun comes up does waking, take a couple tries?

Do you feel your heart will burst, inside your momma’s chest
When your child does very well, and aces his last test

Especially when the test, is not the school test kind
But the kind the world won’t know, the kind that’s undefined

They’ve chosen right, they’ve fought for good, they’ve learned their lessons well
And though you aren’t perfect, you’ve helped them to excel.

When you stand, do you rock, with nothing in your arms?
Do you worry, about the day, when you must come to terms

With the fact that they grow up, and leave their mother’s nest
They’ll no longer sleep so soundly lying on your chest.

There’s more you’ve done, the list won’t end, But I’ll stop and ask you please
Remember that you’ve got a pair

A pair of ovaries!

Dedicated to all mothers- but mostly to my mother, love you
Mom!

If I don’t know your name, you do NOT have permission to kiss my baby’s toes

I was holding my baby in the church hallway chatting with a friend when an elderly woman approached us. I saw her coming but couldn’t quite figure out what she was doing until it was too late and her face was level with my stomach. The old lady was giving my baby’s toes big slobbery kisses! How do I know they were slobbery? Well, while this woman (whom I had never met before) was kissing the baby’s feet she accidentally missed and kissed my elbow…and it was wet.

My initial reaction was to hold my baby tight so that the old woman couldn’t reach any other part of her. I put my hand over her head and gave a weak smile as the old woman transferred to my friend’s baby who, unfortunately, wasn’t as well protected. The woman kissed her baby on the face, and then returned to snack on my little one’s toes some more. We tried to laugh it off, “Oh… hi… aren’t babies cute? Uh…I’m Amber, have we met?” But as the old lady left for relief society I couldn’t hide my discomfort as I commented, “Well, that was a new experience”.

Unfortunately though, it’s becoming an old one. What is it with old women wanting to touch my baby? I know she’s cute, trust me I do, as far as I’m concerned she’s the cutest baby in the world, but these women act like she is theirs, like they have the right to just grab her and start holding her or kissing her. When I was visiting my great Aunt at the Assisted Living Center I seriously had several old ladies trailing me and asking to hold the baby – at least they asked instead of trying to just take her. Luckily the baby was asleep and I was able to use that as an excuse, but I’m afraid I can’t use it every time.

Maybe I’m over reacting, after all it takes a village to raise a child, but my husband is a nurse and he has told me statistics on how many elderly people are incontinent or don’t wash their hands. I don’t know. Anyone want to weigh in on this one? What did you do when people started touching your baby? Am I over-reacting or not reacting enough? How can I politely refuse when a stranger asks to hold my child? It’s funny, I was uncomfortable but didn’t really react when people touched my pregnant belly, but when they touch my daughter I turn into mama bear! Watch out… Amber may be… a grizzly!

Zap!

I have long wavy hair. Because of the red in it, and it’s tendency to frizz, my husband likes to call me his lion. Well, I did it in french braids over night so it would have that wild wavy look to it. It waved, and it was wild, but it also frizzed up a ton. My husband actually asked me to roar for him.

Being a new mom I didn’t have time to change it, so I just went with it. I was the frizzy lioness all day. I didn’t think much of it, until my baby started to get caught in it. She’s not quite to the grabbing stage, but if you bat at something this frizzy your fingers will get stuck. It wasn’t too big of a deal. She’s tiny and I have a hard head – she really can’t pull hard enough for it to hurt, but apparently it can hurt her.

Sequence of events went as follows: Amber shuffles over to talk to husband, baby in arms, baby reaches up and bats at mom’s hair, “Zap!”, and the most blood curdling little scream I’ve ever heard come out of my babies mouth!

My hair shocked my baby, and she did not like it! I think she was more scared than anything, but her cute little reaction made us all laugh! How could I laugh at that? My poor baby! I felt for her, but it was so funny! Ah, the joys of discovery, I just hope she’s not developmentally delayed by the experience. “Zap!” that’ll teach her to reach up and grab things.