Hope in Humanity

Warning: This blog post is not about my baby (k, so maybe I mention her now and then, but it’s not about her).

I’m not sure if I should feel that humanity is in despair, or that we finally have some hope. Since I like to be an optimist I am choosing hope! Obviously that statement has a story attached to it, so I guess I better start telling the story!

I went to an Elder’s Quorum social recently, without my husband. K, yeah, it’s weird but it was for couple’s and since hubby is in the Elder’s Quorum presidency and had to miss it for work he asked me to go and represent him. Since hubby had the car I faithfully packed up baby in the stroller, made sure I had my keys and my phone in one of the flippy stroller compartments and started off.

The social was pretty typical, it consisted of four people (the Elder’s Quorum President, his wife, me, and my daughter). Gotta love those guys! Girls even out number them at their own socials. Anyway, we played games and ate pie until it was dark. The Elder’s Quorum Pres. offered me a ride home since he had a truck with him to carry the stroller. I had the baby’s car seat (it attaches to the stroller), so I accepted and went home.

As I waved goodbye to my ride I realized that I didn’t have my phone. I frantically checked the stroller which had been haphazardly carried all over the place. Nothing. I checked my purse hoping I had put it there. Nothing. The next morning I went to the church to search and asked the ward clerk if anything had been handed in. Nothing!

My husband was the first to tell me the truth – the phone is probably stolen and already on E-bay honey. It’s only a phone. I agreed with him, and sadly nodded. Then I realized that this was more than just any phone! This phone was the phone I had owned when my baby was born. This was the phone that had chronicled in picture and short video my daughter’s entire life up to this point. I felt my stomach drop. It was horrible. I asked my husband to text the phone, explaining that it contained precious photos and videos and asking that either it or the memory card within be returned. I went to bed with the photos weighing heavily on my mind. I woke up the next morning still feeling a general sense of woe. The entire time my husband and I were praying for the safe return of the phone.

Then, it happened. I got an email from my husband that someone had found the phone in the lawn of a nearby business and was returning it! The person who called my husband claiming to have found it seemed to mysteriously know where we lived, and left it in our mailbox. The text my hubby sent was opened, but no other phone calls or texts were sent or recieved over the weekend.

I was so happy! While the return of the phone certainly prompts a lot of questions (who stole it? Are they in our ward? Etc.) I’m trying to not worry about them and just have hope that someone who may have made a mistake thought better of it, had a heart, and as far as I’m concerned repented. If I knew who it was, I would give them a big hug, tell them I forgive them, and thank them for bringing it back! So there it is! Newfound hope in humanity and an answer to our prayers :)


So, I have really neglected the blog this semester! I have lots of excuses: busy, busy, still busy, but I know you don’t really want to hear that, so instead of complaining about being busy I’m going to post the short story I recently wrote for my creative writing class.

Yes, I can relate to the main character in the story, but please note that it is not about my own experience. It’s a completely fictional piece that was inspired by life in a small mormon community my first year of marriage.


It was pink. It was definitely pink. Lisa peed on another stick. Yep, still pink.

Last month Lisa had missed a day of “the pill”, but she doubled up the next day like she was supposed to. So they were covered right? Lisa had assumed they were covered and had told Jon not to worry. Lisa was wrong, and now she was staring at a stick wondering if there was some way her pee could have gotten mixed up with the pregnant tenant in 108. Here in 105 there were no babies. In 105 we didn’t believe in babies just yet.

When Lisa and Jon were dating they talked about having children. Lisa just knew Jon would make a great daddy, and Jon knew Lisa would be the very best mom. They wanted four kids, two girls and two boys. Their children would be perfect and they would live happily ever after. That was while they were dating, when they were in that idyllic stars in the eyes phase. Now that they were married things were just a little bit different. Jon wanted to wait at least two years to start their perfect family, and Lisa wasn’t so sure she could handle four kids.

They agreed to wait for babies. They were still in school and they knew that minimum wage as a shoe salesman wasn’t going to cover diapers and formula. Lisa had been content with that decision, but staring at the pink stick she found herself grappling with reality.

After the initial panic and a warm shower Lisa began to fantasize about the new baby. She did love babies, and if it was here, it was here. Lisa knew she and Jon would be good parents. She knew they would love the baby and do everything they could to help it live a happy life. Lisa only had one problem, how to tell Jon.

Lisa didn’t really know how he would react. They had only been married three months, and every day was still an adventure. Would he dance with joy? Choke with shock? Yell with anger?

Lisa didn’t know, but she did know she needed to tell him creatively. That’s just how she did things. She once asked him to a college dance by filling his room with hundreds of mason jars of gold fish and a big poster reading, “Of all the fish in the sea, I hope you pick me!”

So Lisa got brainstorming. She decided she would let him figure it out himself by fixing him a dinner of “hints”. She would make baby carrots, baby corn, and baby lamb. Jon loved mutton. So Lisa went to the grocery store and got everything ready.

She happily nervously prepared the meal. She was so anxious she got it done an hour before Jon got home and she fell asleep on the couch.

She woke up to the fire alarm and Jon screaming, “Lisa! Lisa! What the Heck are you doing in here! You can’t take a nap with food in the oven!”

Oh crap, she had forgotten to turn the oven off and now the mutton was ruined! Lisa and Jon quickly cleared out the smoke and threw out the burnt lamb. Lisa sniffling the entire time, what would she do now? How would she tell him?

Jon thought she was just upset over the expensive meat and tried to comfort her. “It’s ok darling. I’m sorry I yelled. It happens. Come on, why don’t I take you out for dinner?”

It wasn’t what she had in mind, but Lisa wiped her eyes and grabbed her purse. Life doesn’t always turn out as you plan.

They went to McDonald’s, the best their meager budget could afford after burning the expensive meat, and Lisa ordered a kid’s meal hoping she could give Jon hints that way.

The place was crowded with young families and crazy kids. The only open booth was right next to the fun balls, the most popular spot for the smallest children. Lisa thought this could be good. They could ooh and awe over the sweet little things. Soon after they sat down and started talking Lisa started dropping her hints.

“Jon, did you notice that I got the kid’s meal?”

“You always get the kid’s meal dear.”

“Yes, well I think we’ll be getting a lot more kid’s meals in the future.”

“Honey, we really can’t afford to come to McDonald’s that often.”

Lisa was so nervous she was ready to just blurt it out.

“Jon, we’re pregnant!”

Just as the words left her lips a toddler fell out of the balls and began screaming loudly.

“I can’t hear you dear!”

Lisa tried again, “Jon darling, we’re going to have a baby!”

“Yes, I agree, all of these babies are really annoying!”

Lisa’s eyes welled up, “No, Jon I…”

And with that she gave up.

“Let’s just go!”

Jon began to gather their things as Lisa lamented that of course, he heard that part.

They jumped in the car, and unable to contain the news any more, Lisa once again tried to broach the subject.

“Jon I have something really important to tell you.”


“Jon, we’re…” there was a bump, and a small bang. The same family who’s little one had ruined the moment inside had just backed into the car.

“D—–* it!”

“Jon, don’t swear!” Lisa said in agony as she watched Jon jump from the car and begin a tirade against the offenders.

Lisa stepped from the car and sadly looked over at the haggard mother. She was only a couple of years older than Lisa.

“I’m so sorry! The baby missed his nap this afternoon and Don can only take so much crying. He just got distracted and… ” she trailed off.

“It’s alright. It just matches the other dents.” Lisa tried to smile as she surveyed the already beat up car.

After a while, Lisa and the young mother were able to calm the men down enough to exchange insurance information and be on their way.

As they jumped in the car one more time Lisa was so frustrated, flustered, and just plain annoyed that she started to cry.

“Oh honey! It’s ok. The car will be fine.”

“Jon just stop! Can’t you tell I’ve been trying to talk to you about something important all night! Can’t you see that I’m flustered? Isn’t it obvious that I need to talk to you? /!”

Jon just stared at her, she had never yelled at him before.

“Jon you idiot! We’re pregnant!”

And with that there was another bump and small bang as Jon ran into the car in front of them.

Three things that make me happy

So, this list could go on forever but for the sake of time I’ll stick to just three things.

Here goes!

  1. Cuddles: I love just relaxing with my husband on the couch. I can’t even begin to describe the contentment I feel when we’re just hanging out. He is so amazing and I love him so much. Sorry for the mushy, but this is honesty at its finest. I have the best spouse ever!
  2. Reading: Lately I only have time to read textbooks, but I try to make time for scripture study every morning. I don’t pay attention as well as I should but I always feel more at peace and more together if I’ve done my scripture study. I have a good friend who is a great example. She says that she’ll read her scriptures every day no matter what even if she only has time for one verse. Pretty cool beans.  
  3. Kicks: I love feeling my baby kick. Every kick lets me know she’s alive and strong. I can’t really describe the feeling. My husband and I have created something more than us. We have created a family that will be eternal. Her kicks remind me of that.

Let me know what makes you happy! We could make a really long happy list.

other things I wanted to put on my list: music, family, friends, church, photography, ten-year-olds, hard work, school, being organized, getting something done, Louisa May Alcott, Scarlet Pimpernel, feeling so in love, warmth, coats, gloves, herbal tea, lotion, exercise, food…

– Amber May be… content

Three things that annoy me

I’m taking a creative writing class this semester and I have to do a certain amount of journaling for it. I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone and post my journals for the world to see on my blog.

Our first assignment? To name and describe three annoyances in our lives.

  1. That girl who accounts for 75% of class discussion: Anyone who has ever been in school knows what I’m talking about. It’s that girl who thinks she’s above raising her hand. She talks because she loves the sound of her own voice. She thinks her opinion is more important than anyone else and her answers are better than everyone else’s. Why does this girl annoy me? Well, besides the inherently annoying aspects of this girl I think she annoys me because I have the tendency to be that girl. I was a smart little kid and I loved talking. I was praised when I spoke in class, and it took a while for me to realize that I was being ridiculously annoying. This realization created a little bit of self-loathing, and in turn led me to a lack of patience with others who suffer from the same propensity. I know, kinda weird, still true.
  2. Scraping ice off the windshield: The weather has been ridiculously cold lately and I have learned that I just don’t have any windshield scraping talent. When my husband scrapes he can quickly remove all ice in a few deft swipes. I feel like a chicken making little scratches in the thick ice as I vigorously wipe back and forth, making absolutely no progress.
  3. Never ending messes: I have not yet mastered the art of a constantly clean apartment. I don’t know how my grandma does it. It seems that no matter how hard I try everything gets messed up again so fast! I don’t even have kids yet. Any tips?

So there’s my list! I actually had a hard time coming up with three things. I guess I’m just not in the mood to think of things that annoy me which is why my next post will be about three things that make me happy :)

What about you? This is an open invitation. Post in the comments three things that annoy you!

Amber May be… having trouble being annoyed.  :)