Having children can strengthen your marriage

Last night my husband wanted to rock the baby to sleep. At first I resisted, she won’t fall asleep for you, If we rock her to sleep too often she’ll stop sleeping through the night, she won’t sleep as well, my mind rifled through reasons. Still I relented because of the absolutely adorably pleading look in my husband’s eyes.

As he rocked her I gave him hints on what usually works to get her to sleep. In no time he was proudly holding a slumbering babe. I expected him to put her in bed, but he didn’t want to. “Just let me sleep with her tonight.” He wanted to put a bed-roll out and sleep by her all night. I lovingly laughed at his request and found a middle ground. “Let her lie on your chest for a couple of hours and then we’ll put her in her own bed, so she can still sleep well,” I told him.

Over the course of the next two hours hubby fell asleep on the couch with the fruit of our labors nestled on his chest. I watched them sleep (ever vigilant that he not roll over on her) and felt such an immense love for both of them – my beautiful daughter and her loving father.

Baby and daddy sleeping

This was taken a few months ago, but it sums up pretty well what I'm describing.

As I watched them I remembered a good-bad piece of wisdom I was given several times while I was pregnant. I know it’s an oxymoron, but maybe you’ll understand once I tell you what I was told. I was told that having children ruins marriages.

This was in essence a horrible statement, but if I were to say that it is completely untrue that would discount the experiences of those who shared it with me. It’s a good statement because it’s good for young idealistic people like me to understand all of the possible consequences to major life events. When I heard this statement I became determined that not only would my baby not ruin my marriage – she would make it better.

And so, as we near my daughter’s first birthday I can see that I love my husband more than I ever have before. I see that through our daughter our marriage has become stronger than it used to be. Our mutual love for her has enhanced our love for each other and taught us better how to cooperate. As we work together to make our home heavenly we become more heavenly ourselves, and in turn, our marriage becomes more heavenly.

We went into this marriage with the attitude that we would always give 110 percent to make it work, but now we have this extraordinary reason to each give 150 percent.

May I just say that marriage is wonderful? Well, marriage is wonderful – and children make it even better.



  1. Brin LaFleur says:

    I just wanted to let you know that I love reading your blog. Some of your posts have been especially helpful and comforting. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Amber!

  2. Children can ruin marriages or the children can be ruined by the marriage because the parents do not want children or have refused to do enough work to sustain the children they have had. But in any case where the parents want their child and they are willing to do what they must to sustain the child the marriage becomes far more beautiful than it could become otherwise in my opinion.
    The fact that you and your husband are the latter kind of parents thrills me, and brings joy to my heart. I’m grateful my wife and I have you and your husband for role models for how we can raise our children one day. :D

    • Amber Mae says:

      So true Jayrod, and that’s why the title of my post is Children CAN strengthen marriages rather than children strengthen marriages. It all depends on your attitude and how much you are willing to give.
      P.S. I’m sure you and your wife will be amazing parents when the time comes, and until it does I am certain you are influencing many youth in a positive way through your callings at church and service in the community.

  3. Nice words to hear in a divorce-filled world.


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