I just want to say, I love my job. I really do. I am so grateful that I get to be the stay-at-home parent. But sometimes, being the stay-at-home parent is hard. And lately, I’ve been feeling really guilty because I don’t enjoy every aspect of it. I mean, I’m supposed to love my job right? Isn’t this everything I’ve ever wanted?
Well, I confided in my husband how I was feeling. He called me as I was cleaning, and when I mentioned in passing that I am supposed to enjoy washing dishes he seemed confused.
“Why?” he asked.
“Well, because I’m supposed to love my job. At church they always say your supposed to love every aspect of motherhood. They say that if you pray Heavenly Father will help you to find joy in it. I keep not doing that,” I told him.
“Honey, you don’t have to LOVE every aspect of your job. If all of it was fun it wouldn’t be a job, it would be a game.” He then went on a long tangent about how pro basketball players don’t really have jobs because everything they do is SO fun. (poor guy was never tall enough for pro basketball).
And as he talked about pro basketball I sat there like I’d just been hit with a hammer. Wait a minute. I DON’T have to enjoy all of it? It’s OK to not LOVE the housework side of things? You’re probably thinking how dumb I am right now, but it really was quite the epiphany.
As I pondered it further I started thinking about Heavenly Father’s job. I don’t purport to know what He is thinking or how He is feeling, but I have a hard time imagining a loving Heavenly Father enjoying the judgement, or enjoying watching His children stray, or enjoying allowing His children the agency to hurt each other – and yet – those things are all in His job description.
I can’t tell you the peace I felt as I pondered this stuff. It was just like, man I guess I am OK even if I do hate the constant cleaning that comes with parenting. Realizing that I’m not a bad mom if I don’t like cleaning even made the cleaning a little bit easier… for today.
Now, I’m not saying I will never learn to love the housework side of stay at home parenting, maybe someday I will get really really excited about cleaning moldy items out of the fridge, but I’m a work in progress. Isn’t it nice to let go of some of the guilt now and then? We women are so good at guilting ourselves. But that topic is for another post altogether. In the meantime, thank heavens for clear-minded husbands who will never be pro basketball players.