I hesitate to actually say it. In fact, I’ve been waiting a few weeks to write this post just in case my words jinx me. But here it is, I think the baby is finally coming out of her colic. What used to be 4 to 6 hours of daily crying has morphed into 1 to 2. What used to be inexplicable is now caused by tiredness, boredom, poop, or a tummy ache. And what used to be a Mom at the end of her rope is now a Mom who can’t wait to see what cute thing her happy baby will do next. I can’t even begin to describe the relief I feel. It has made parenting so much more enjoyable and so much more fun.
So here’s the ultimate question, if I could go back in time and have a meeting with the Lord would I say, “She’s broken, could you please fix it?” would I? It’s a tough call, hindsight is so much easier than being in the moment. But if I knew what I know now, I’d have to say…no. Instead I would ask for a meeting with the Lord, where I would say, “Thank you Lord, for a perfect baby, and thank you for allowing her to teach me so much.”
I’m reminded of the Book of Mormon story where Alma and his new converts were given strength and comfort instead of immediate relief.
In Mosiah 24: 14 – 15 it says:
14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.
Experiences like this really do make me want to stand as a witness for the Lord. There were many times when I was so at a loss for what to do. I was exhausted mentally and physically. I wanted nothing more than to comfort my darling baby and yet it seemed as though I couldn’t. It was at these points of struggle that I prayed with all my might for guidance from the Lord, and more often than not I would recieve comfort and the ability to patiently hold my crying daughter, knowing that it was O.K. I don’t have to fix it. She and I would survive this time and be closer because of it. There really is something special that comes from holding a baby while she cries for hours on end. No, that isn’t meant as a joke. While it can certainly frazzle you, it also creates an amazing bond. I think my daughter knows that I am always there for her. I think she feels how much I love her. I hope that even though she won’t remember this time that she will continue to know and feel our love. I know I feel the love of my Heavenly Father, and something tells me he’s hoping the same thing about me.