new mom

She’s asleep on my chest right now.

As I breathe in and out I watch her rise and fall, she’s listening to my heart beat. She’s so beautiful.

We did a pretty good job last night, sleeping until about 3 a.m. at which point baby decided it was time to be held and the screaming ensued. So I am again exhausted. But she’s worth it. She won’t understand the sleepless nights, the mastitis, or the worry until she’s a mother herself, but that’s the way it’s supposed to be, we do it because we love her, and we expect nothing in return.

My life has changed so much in the last few days! Less than two weeks after graduating from college I became a mother and suddenly life wasn’t about me anymore. I went from being a full time student and working part time in marketing to being a full time stay at home mom. I still run my small photography business, and I’m doing freelance writing on the side, but I went from running from place to place, completely independent, to staying home with a child who is completely dependent on me. And what’s even crazier, I went from wanting a career to wanting nothing more than to take care of my baby. I was warned I would have a hard time being home considering my previous life style, but I haven’t experienced that yet. All I’m experiencing right now is pure love for my baby.

She feels safe on my chest, as we relax together, and I can’t help but think – this is where I’m meant to be.